Living in the House of Mirrors: Rediscovering Connection When You Feel Like a Misfit

Many people seem happy on social media, smiling with family or laughing at work. But like a book's cover, it's just the surface. Do we really know what's inside? It takes time to read the book. Often, they're feeling lonely and misunderstood, showing just a mirror to the world.

Societal pressures to fit in, succeed, and maintain a perfect life are no small burdens. These people live in a house full of mirrors and can choose what mirror they want to present in any situation.

However, this takes a toll over time on them in all areas of their life. Sometimes they don’t even remember who they are anymore, what reflection is really them. They look in the mirror one day and wonder, Is this the real me? And no one notices.

Research highlights a strong link between loneliness and negative health impacts.

• A 2022 study found loneliness nearly triples the risk of dementia

• Finnish researchers in 2021 linked it to higher cancer incidence and worse survival rates

• In 2010, Julianne Holt-Lunstad revealed loneliness as a major contributor to diseases, surpassing risks like obesity and even rivaling smoking.

• A 2021 survey by Harvard showed serious loneliness in 39% of respondents, especially among ages 18–25. (Alone in the Crowd | Harvard Medicine Magazine)
  

I remember in high school having so many great times with great people but something was off. I often felt very lonely despite always smiling. People thought I had it all together - “a good head on my shoulders”. I was in the top of my class, had friends, had a fantastic boyfriend, had a horse, enjoyed singing, had a great family, traveled, was always busy and having fun. I could never figure out why I felt so different and alone.

No one seemed to think like I did. No one seemed to understand my point of view. I quickly learned that if I spoke my thoughts too loudly it was an argument at home and at school I was ‘weird’. I tried on several occasions to talk to the school counselor but I couldn’t express my feelings and they told me I was doing a great job managing normal teenage stuff.

I was a teacher’s aid, in clubs, and involved in educating other kids about the dangers of drinking alcohol. On one occasion this group put on a presentation using the poem “Please Hear What I Am Not Saying” by Charles C Finn. written September 1966 (listen to the poem here https://youtu.be/S38fbFaWAgk)

I could not stop crying! It was me!! Finally I felt understood! Now I could be heard! I read it to everyone I could find, however, people still didn’t understand. I felt so confused. It was not until 2 decades later, ironically, after my own journey with alcohol and abuse and getting sober, that I started to understand I simply thought differently than everyone else and….that was okay!

It took another 2 decades to fully understand authenticity and embracing the true gifts of being a gloriously perfect imperfect functional misfit.

What happens when we wake up and look in that mirror, walk down those halls of mirrors into another room of mirrors looking for the real self? Do you know where you left you?

It is difficult to find real meaningful connection with others if you do not have that connection with yourself. Sometimes you have the illusion you are connected, however, it is not real. It is a reflection connecting with a reflection.

You are in the house of mirrors. You can not actually touch anyone physically, nor can it be lasting. Mirrors break - they give false images, they are fabulous to hide behind, however, ask yourself one question…..Am I happy or fulfilled living the way I have been living up until this point?

If you are, great! Enjoy every moment of this life. If the answer is no, and you want more for you and those around you, a deeper, more meaningful connection, I assure you, no…..I promise you, it IS possible.

Start with small awarenesses and congratulate yourself on these. Start writing your thoughts to clarify if what you believe is true for you today or is it something you have just brought along for the ride. As we gain more information, our thinking changes, our beliefs shift. That is okay.

We simply need to acknowledge that so we can make honest decisions. It can be scary at times so having a guide, coach, or group to walk with you on this incredible journey is one of the best gifts you can give yourself. Becoming authentically you will change every aspect of your life, from your relationships to your career, from your wealth to your health.

Are you ready to get out of the house of mirrors and get onto the roller coaster of life?? If you said yes, book your completely free illumination session to see how you can stop feeling lonely and start thriving!